Tuesday, March 23
12:08 am

the politics of netball, or, skiving during the third match

so i umpired zones today at knc. amidst the huge yawns i took the time to appreciate the little things, and noticed how truly freaky the Umpires of the East are (and if any of you lovely people are reading this, especially C, who pays me and finds me incredible jobs - kidding!). no, seriously. there is some odd shit going on with those people. another reason why i rarely venture out of my comfort zone (dum-dum-chesh! [rimshot]).

the umpires reflect the school standings pretty accurately too, i think. like how all the bigwigs are in the south and west zone, and how no one, no one seems to come from the north (who lives there anyway? cows!). and then, emerging like the distant rural aunt that appears every reunion dinner, smells funny and speaks too loudly over the dinner table, we have the eastern teams/umpires. would that i could say even that people dislike teams like tk or hsh, but, truth be told, people don't anything them. they're certainly...there, but in the years that their teams even manage to find a spot in the top four, their only supporters (outside of their own students of course) are the schools that loathe the opposition - that is to say, the only people that are cheering for them aren't doing so for the love of the team, but because they think that the opposition needs to be taken down a peg or two.

and don't even get me started on the players themselves - though in describing them i'd probably give a fairly accurate description of the umpires i met today as well (again, dear C, just kidding! you and the teams you coach are the best!). but, non-freak factor aside, being stuck in the west/south has its share of suckdom. for one, way too much competition for the plum jobs like umpiring or coordinating zones in nus. plus, the entire sprawling empire that is sneakers (including The Big Kahuna himself) appears to be based here, giving rise to quite the number of minor annoyances.

on an entirely unrelated note, a bloody unleashed rat dog came a-sniffin' at my ankles today. while barely restraining the urge to punt it straight into next tuesday, i did an impromptu buffalo two-step and mentally sicced V's Greatfuckindane on it.

"oeeuhh! she likes you!" simpers the owner and i twitter back at her "the way i like her? with sauce?" and i felt pretty good for the rest of the day even though what i said sailed right over the empty little head that okayed the purchase of a hairless mutant rat.

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